


Reverb

by inkyindigo



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Blood, Drabble, Gun Violence, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Pining, Post Game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 16:38:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5213072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkyindigo/pseuds/inkyindigo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neku has nightmares of the Reaper's Game, but not the kind you'd expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reverb

**Author's Note:**

> Hanekoma told Joshua there would be repercussions, didn't he?

Neku has nightmares of the Reaper's Game, but not the kind you'd expect.

He dreams of Shiki sometimes, her face twisted in pain and fear, begging him not to kill her. It's worse when it's her real face with soft brown eyes and rounder cheeks, and her voice breaks on the words. The guilt from those dreams is easy to fix; he sees Shiki often and he knows she'll offer her forgiveness every time he asks.

Most of the dreams, however, are about Joshua.

Oddly, Neku doesn't dream of his own death, or if he does he can't remember. What he sees when he falls asleep are the two of them in the Dead God's Pad with guns pointed at each other. Joshua smirks, that insufferable little tilt of his mouth that drove Neku crazy when they were partners. He's counting down from ten and though his lips move Neku can't hear anything. He wants to take his headphones off but his hands stay rigid around the gun. The barrel is jumping even when he holds it with both hands. His finger shakes on the trigger and maybe that's how the gun goes off.

Neku remembers thinking, even in the dream, _I wasn't supposed to shoot._ He's never touched a gun in his life, his hands are unsteady, tears blur his vision. His aim shouldn't be anywhere near accurate enough to send the bullet where it lands – right through Joshua's forehead.

Neku doesn't think someone like Joshua can bleed, but he does and he does a lot. Blood creeps into the seams of that nice dress shirt that's too big for him and darkens his silver hair. His eyes roll up a little, as if expressing exasperation at Neku one last time. Neku is never able to move in those dreams. He stares, and the gun makes a very loud noise when it hits to the floor. When Joshua falls, he doesn't make a sound.

It doesn't make any sense; Neku has seen Joshua stop bullets in midair with nothing but an arrogant quirk of his mouth. But logic doesn't soothe Neku's racing heart when he sits up in his dark room with the gunshot still ringing in his ears. He has to remind himself that no, he didn't shoot. He didn't shoot.

That particular nightmare doesn't happen every night. It does happen often enough to disrupt Neku's sleep schedule and for Shiki to point out how he looks tired lately. He tells her about the nightmares but not their subject. She nods and squeezes his hand without pushing and he's grateful. She visits the Hachiko statue with him as often as she can and they spend the time talking and trading design ideas. Neku's free to doze off on the bench against her shoulder with Shiki promising to wake him if...if it gets too late in the day.

Neku has visited Mr. Hanekoma, too. He goes to the Wildkat about a week after the Game and two days after his first nightmare. They talk about the nature of the Game, who exactly Mr. H is (which he doesn't really answer) – everything other than Joshua. Mr. H does mention multiple timelines while pouring Neku's coffee. Other Shibuyas, other Nekus and Joshuas. Neku thinks of a world out there without a Joshua because some other Neku took the shot. The thought is enough to make his stomach flip over and he can't finish his coffee. He doesn't ask Mr. Hanekoma how or where Joshua is.

It always takes him a while to return to sleep after that dream, so Neku lies in bed and squints in the bright light of his phone as he scrolls through his contact list. There are only five names: Beat, Eri, Mom, Rhyme, Shiki. He hopes maybe Joshua's name will show up. It never does.

“If you're doing this, it's really not funny,” he mutters and shuts his phone. The clap makes him flinch.

 

Again.

Neku points the gun and shakes and tries to imprint his own brain with _stop stop STOP._

Miraculously, his fingers loosen and the gun drops to the floor. Joshua holds his stance, halting his countdown at 2.

“Come on, Neku,” he chides and Neku hasn't heard that lilting voice in so long. “You were fine with killing Shiki and she was innocent. You really can't do it now, even to save your city?”

Neku stares him down. Joshua heaves a sigh and lets the arm with the gun fall to his side. “You're not following the rules, Neku.” He smiles and it changes his whole face. He looks younger, like someone Neku might have gone to school with but never noticed because he was always tucked in a book. He looks softer and more real than he ever has in the previous dreams. Neku's lungs clench.

“How about this, then?” Joshua says, gentle, and his gun rises to press into the curls of hair covering his temple.

Neku has never once been able to move but something violent jerks him forward and his thoughts are a tangle of denial and grief. Joshua keeps smiling a calm, placating smile, as if Neku is a child who has done something endearingly wrong. If Neku can just grab his wrist –

He wakes up and almost screams Joshua's name to the entire house.

That's the last dream of him Neku has, but he feels more unsettled than ever. Rather than relief, Neku goes about his days with a nagging tug in his stomach.

Why, after weeks of the same nightmare, would they suddenly stop?

Neku keeps scrolling through his phone, keeps visiting Hachiko. He knows it's ridiculous. Joshua's fine. Neku hasn't seen him since the Game, but he's fine.

Isn't he?


End file.
